Talking You Off The Ledge Blog

written by Dana Simone Stovall

The Relationship Ain’t Real Until It’s Gone Through Four Seasons

All relationships start off good, make your stomach dance like butterflies, and you talk to each other with sugar-coated tongues. But as the weeks continue and you begin to learn each other’s habits and personal customs, things begin to crystallize and become more clearer as to the type of person you’re really with.

That’s why I’m a huge believer that every relationship should go through four entire seasons before committing to long-term plans (i.e. marriage, engagement, shacking-up etc). Just like the weather, trees, flowers, and the topography change in each season, I strongly believe that each person’s mood and behavior changes in each season as well.

You may not notice it or agree with me, but at 46, I’m a helliva lot wiser and more aware in recent years, especially after my divorce. For instance, in the winter time, I’m more inclined to be moodier or stay in the house because the snow or cold weather is stifling and hinders my gym visits. Plus, I hate being cold and bundling up in all those darn layers of clothing. So my boyfriend would need to aware of my seasonal mood and plan our winter activities accordingly. In addition, let’s say if you are a tax accountant or work in a field dealing with company financials, then winter/spring will be intense months for you because of the high demand and stress of that seasonal responsibility. Your mate would need to understand that and cater more to helping out or making your life a little easier during those months with errands, dry cleaners, cooking, laundry, sex etc….

Now, on the other hand, if you’re with someone that has a high stress level and moodiness all the time no matter what the season, then you, my friend, have to work a lot harder to decipher the qualities you like most about that person. LOL!

Once you’ve observed your mate for four seasons and think about the impact each season had on them directly, on you, and the relationship; it makes deciding which qualities are negotiable or non-negotiable for you to live with before the next four seasons begin.

During this time, it’s also easier to really think with your head and not your heart, if you aren’t so darn “thirsty” wanting to fall in love. Because the minute, you fall in love with somebody, you are more susceptible to think with your heart and not your head which is sooooo dangerous because your decision-making and discernment becomes foggy as hell since you so “in love.” As a result, the things that should have been non-negotiable, using your head, begin to be more negotiable, using your heart. #Whimp

So be excited about the relationship. Understand each other’s needs. Be aware of the seasonal behavior. Esteem and assist where you can. But don’t be no fool, cut your losses….before the ball drops at Time Square, before Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, before the Easter bunny drops those eggs; before the fireworks blast off, before the witch rings your bell begging, or before Santa eats your milk and cookies. No matter when the season, just do it before it’s too late.

I am DanaSimone, and I’m talking you Off The Ledge, because keeping it real has no safety net.

What do you think? Does this makes sense? Let me hear from you below.

— DanaSimone!®
Author, What’s In Your 24? How To Get It Done Without Getting Outdone
Talk Show Host, #DanaSimoneShow
#TalkingYouOffTheLedge
http://bit.ly/YouTubeLife
http://www.DanaSimoneStovall.com

Please visit my website at www.DanaSimoneStovall.com and follow me on social media. If you want more reality checks, purchase my motivational book on time management and fitness for women for only $10; it takes no more than 60-minutes to read – What’s In Your 24? How To Get It Done Without Getting Outdone http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Your-Without-Getting-Outdone/dp/1478711779

New Year’s Resolutions are for Wimps… Do It Now Boo!

In 2017, I will not…
In 2017, I will start…
In 2017, I will be…

What da’ hell is that all about?! I’ll tell you what it is. Resolutions are merely placeholders for another excuse. I’m sorry, but they are. One might say, logically, that resolutions are a good starting point for people to change something or do something better. I get that. So if you start the resolution on January 1 and then by March 31, you’ve failed at pursuing your mission, then what? Do you wait until next January 1 to start over?! Hmmmm….

Resolutions, like diets, are moving targets that you will endlessly negotiate because you know there’s another “January 1” or “start day” that you can chose. Many of you have said that you are starting your diet on next Monday. But if you’re serious about losing weight, then why didn’t you start the diet yesterday? I’m just saying out loud, what you and others are already thinking.

Real goals need real commitment, not negotiators; and real dreams need real dream catchers, not dream chasers. If you aren’t willing to put in the work right now, at this very moment, then you aren’t really ready. So just stop lying to yourself. Now, before you send me hate mail, curse me out, or “unfriend” me; just sit back, take a deep breath, and think about it for moment. Gurrrrrl, at some point, you will stop negotiating non-negotiables.

I am Dana Simone, and I’m talking you Off the Ledge, because keeping it real has no safety net.

— DanaSimone!®
Author, What’s In Your 24? How To Get It Done Without Getting Outdone
Talk Show Host, #DanaSimoneShow
#TalkingYouOffTheLedge
http://www.DanaSimoneStovall.com

Please visit my website at www.DanaSimoneStovall.com and follow me on social media. If you want more reality checks, purchase my motivational book on time management and fitness for women for only $10; it takes no more than 60-minutes to read – What’s In Your 24? How To Get It Done Without Getting Outdone http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Your-Without-Getting-Outdone/dp/1478711779

Secure Your Oxygen Mask First…

We’ve all heard those infamous words from the flight attendant, “…if you’re traveling with a child or next to someone that needs assistance, secure your mask first, then assist them.” As further defense for the selfish discussion I present in my book, the meaning behind this phrase is perfect reasoning to learning to become more selfish with your time and efforts as it relates to dealing with other people.

One of the reasons this statement is made is because if you try to assist someone else without proper oxygen, you pose more harm to yourself and run the risk of passing out. Hmm, look at it this way, if you aren’t happy or healthy (i.e. “oxygenated”), how in the heck do you expect to make someone else happy or take care of them in an ideal frame of mind?

Life is about taking care of you first, then everybody else is secondary. Remember that, the next time you decide to run an errand or cook for grown people instead of going to the gym or scheduling an overdue doctor’s appointment. When you know better, you do better.

Talking You Off The Ledge, because keeping it real has no safety net”

— DanaSimone!®
Author, What’s In Your 24? How To Get It Done Without Getting Outdone
Talk Show Host, #DanaSimoneShow
#TalkingYouOffTheLedge
http://www.DanaSimoneStovall.com

Upgrade Yourself to 2.0

When you look in the mirror, do you cry or smile? Hmmmm…

When Apple or Microsoft decides that the current hardware or software is tired, outdated, or doesn’t function at optimal performance, what do they do? THEY UPGRADE IT! Many women continue to tell me that they don’t like the person that they’ve become. They’ve lost their identity. They do everything for everybody else. And they simply don’t know who they are anymore. Almost sounds like an acute case of amnesia. What use to be a girl on fire is now a 1.0 woman with barely a flicker.

If you’ve caught a case of amnesia, why not UPGRADE yourself to 2.0. Ask yourself. When did sweatpants become my entire wardrobe? Where is my comb? Why is my makeup dried up? Why are my clothes too small? If any of these thoughts cross your mind regularly, then it’s time for you to UPGRADE yourself to 2.0 because the 1.0 you is no longer cute, sexy, empowered, or attractive. In other words, you’re not functioning at optimal performance.

I realize you may think you are too busy to make these changes, but it only takes one download and restart of your current thinking to make this happen. If you got time to exhaust yourself with everybody else’s life, then you owe it to yourself to expend a little of that on you. Now go ahead, Click DOWNLOAD & RESTART in your mind right now. And I dare you to AGREE to live by your new terms and conditions.

Talking You Off The Ledge, because keeping it real has no safety net”

— DanaSimone!®
Author, What’s In Your 24? How To Get It Done Without Getting Outdone
Talk Show Host, #DanaSimoneShow
#TalkingYouOffTheLedge
http://www.DanaSimoneStovall.com

What da’ Heck is Emotional Eating Anyway?!

Psychologists never cease to amaze me with their new creative diagnosis. They can come up with some good titles and labels for just about everything. For example, for a child that can’t seem to sit down or focus long enough to do anything. “They” might call it ADHD. What did “big momma” call it? You need your behind whipped. Or, a guy might think that she loves him one day, but the next day, he’s the devil. What might “they” call it? Bipolar. What do some of us call it? Mad & bitter woman syndrome.

Now granted, some of this medical research has some validity to it….somehow or another. But when I really think long and hard about it, medical consultations and copayments can be smoke and mirrors trying to conceal excuses and false labels. One label I’ve come to dislike is “emotional eating.”

Many of you that know me, know that I try to do a pretty good job of staying fit and keeping my sanity along the way. But there are days (many of them), like today, that I just want to eat all kinds of cake, candy, ice cream, and cookies with no strategic plan on how big the portions are or how many calories I’m consuming.

Do you have those days when you just don’t give a hoot and all you want to do is eat? Yup, me too and “they” call it emotional eating. I only lose my mind like that when I’m feeling down and out. People look at me like I have a third eye when I say that to them. Because for some strange reason, my life is suppose to be nearly perfect in the eyes of others. But let me honestly tell you that my life is far from perfect, and I struggle daily with health goals and objectives just like you. I also like to eat crap when those goals and objectives don’t seem to want to align themselves according to the world of Dana Simone.

Fortunately, something told me tonight that I am not an emotional eater and that I didn’t have the right to embrace that medical label for my on again, off again eating habits. I was faced with my sub conscience that blatantly told me that the term emotional eating, in my case, is merely an excuse to spontaneously plan a pity party and only invite guests like chocolate cake, superman ice cream, and Reese Cups.

Seriously?! Is that what it’s come down to? A pity party. Jeez! Let’s explore this a little and maybe even help each other out. I figure if we can back into when & why, we can tap into the root cause and maybe eliminate this behavior altogether.

So, tell me. What are those moments that weaken you to make poor food choices? Don’t leave me hanging on this subject. Or I might be forced to grab some bon bons…